Anguished

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''Maybe I have been here before, I know this room; I have walked this floor, I used to live alone before I knew you I've seen your flag on the marble arch, love is not a victory march, it's a cold and its a broken Hallelujah

~ Rufus Wainwright ~''

I sat mounted as they came towards me; Valkyrie stood her ground as she sensed their approach, no more noble a steed did any Paladin have then her.

A small hooded gnome stepped forward dark appendages shooting forth from them as the appendages pulled me from the back of Valkyrie casting me aside as other approached.

I felt the impact as my armour clad body broke the surface of the water slamming into the hard solid that lay close to the bank as crushing pain surged through my body as I felt ribs break piercing into my lungs as wounds from my battle with the knights in Tyr’s Hand opened from the inside of my stomach where they drove their blades into me leaving me for dead.

I wanted to cry out in pain but I felt my mind slipping from conciseness and my mouth would not move. I felt her presence near me... Entriia she was there with me as I slipped away, did I feel her touch before my body was lifted away my mind questioned as it drifted away.

My spirit remained as I slipped between lucidity and darkness; I felt surrounded by the Light as my spirit prepared itself for the next journey into the realms beyond this life when it was disturbed by a foreign presence within my body slamming it back in to it’s place revealing to the intruder the extent of my injuries as I now lay dying as blood leaking in to my lungs slowly drowned me.

I felt my spirits despair as it watched those gathered around my lifeless form try to bring me back to the consciousness I heard it’s thoughts ‘Why won’t you let her rest now, she is ready to leave this world of suffering to join with her ancestors in the halls of rest they beckon to her… why won’t you let her go, you will destroy her if she returns... let her go!; hasn’t she suffered needless for one so young..’ I felt it’s desperation as it tried to call out to those who were working to bring me back to conciseness.

I emerged to consciousness feeling Amy’s touch against my flesh; I sighed quietly to myself knowing what my spirit desired had been denied it and the truth of its pleas resonated through my mind as I opened my eyes.

My weakened body lay there as I tried to fathom what was going on, what happened, trying to speak to tell them what had happened, but they only tired to silence me, telling me to rest and save my strength.

I felt hopeless laying there as I drifted to sleep knowing that more tragedy awaited me with the fulfilment of Fellen’s promise and that those who saved me would be taken from me in the end; the happiness I sought so desperately would forever elude me as it was something that I should never have dared dream or hoped for.

I the next day came with more pain after fleeing the forests of Teldrassil away from Tulianne who sensed my visitor who came to me in secret while the others left me to rest.

I lay in that bed again wracked with pain, but with a feeling of happiness as I stroked Entriia’s fur as she lay beside my bedside watching over me as the others remained unaware of her presence my mind recalling her words ‘I love you..’ as the other urged me to close my eyes and rest.

I withdrew my hand from her fur as I closed my eyes to do as they urged; not wanting to argue with them any further about how I did not wish to rest and not to reveal that Entriia was with me as I lay there.

The world of my mind and spirit merged as I lay there I could feel myself being taken back to the canals in Stormwind where Fellen first spoke to me, his voice and that of my spirit seemed to merge with the question ‘Who will hear the darkness when it calls for us, who will hear it’s voice..’ scenes of that day played over and over again until I surrendered myself to him; my spirit felt an intrusion as I lay there as it withdrew again hiding what was happening to the intruding presence leaving me to finally rest with the feelings of it’s annoyance as the foreign presence forced my mind to calm.

I sat in the meeting that evening in thought not giving my full attention to my surroundings deep in thought. I only caught partial words of the conversations until I felt Karina’s presence near me ‘did she say something to me…’ I thought to myself coming out of thought.

‘Sorry I was deep in thought my love’ I said looking up at her with a smile. I stood to my feet again hugging her before she urged me to sit back down; I looked around and noticed everyone was around me thinking to myself that I should pay attention and concentrate.

Iana spoke of her attack the previous week thanking those who helped her, my mind flooded with guilt knowing my own feelings for Entriia; whom now Iana said was an enemy.

Entriia’s voice drifted in to my mind ‘will you see me later; perhaps we can play, maybe....’ I tried to mask my smile as I responded to her telling her that I would like that very much. As I focused my mind I noticed Tyrona sitting before me, I wondered to myself what she made of Iana’s words, how would she react to hearing our lover was declared an enemy.

Tyrona did not react as I thought causing anger to swell inside of me quietly thinking to myself ‘She has betrayed my love… how could she, she told me herself that she could not do without her and now she lets these words pass over her without emotion.’ My spirit tried to emerge and sooth the thoughts and calm me so that I feelings would not betray me in front of the others.

With that my spirit began to shatter my soul knowing that I would have to choose between my loves Karina and Entriia if the time came to defend them against each other.

The meeting concluded with argument and chaos as Karina tried to speak a final word to those gathered… I was taken by surprise as she uttered the words that I was to be given a voice amongst The Order; she hugged me saying ‘congratulations my angel..’ would she be so loving if she knew that I was in love with our enemy I thought to myself, shrugging off the thought as I hugged her back.

I was taken back to Darnassus to rest and speak to Tulianne who wished a word, while the others in our company disappeared leaving the two of us to exchange pleasantries and apologies for our previous behaviour earlier that day, though deep in my mind I felt she suspected that I was protecting Entriia from her and the others.

We made our way back to Iana’s home where I permitted her to examine me inspecting the true nature of my injuries I lay on the bed in preparation as my body tensed waiting for her spirit to enter me.

I cried out in pain as I lay there, my body feeling every ounce of anguish and pain as Entriia’s scream entered my mind. I grappled with the pain when all faded to darkness as I felt my spirit emerge from it place as I lay there in darkness my mind barley able to hold on to its lucid thoughts.

It again called to me with the same question ‘Who will hear the darkness when it calls for us… who will hear its voice; your suffering is to great Honoria slip way now, be at peace’ my spirit hissed as it felt the presence of Tulianne trying to enter my mind.

I felt it release the scream into her mind as it amplified its affects trying to ward her off before it slipped back in to its place again.

I stirred to the voices of Iana and Stoen who were questioning what happened as I carefully looked at Iana’s armour noticing that it had been damaged.

I looked at them with trepidation explaining I heard Entriia’s scream in my mind and that Tulianne must have heard it as well when she was examining me.

I questioned Iana about her armour as they stood their silently looking at me and Tulianne; ‘It was a wild beast that attacked me’ Iana said as Stoen added ‘one of those mounts they did it’. I continued to question them, knowing that a Nightsaber would not do that if it were a tamed mount, but they insisted that is what happened and made their way out to check on the beast.

I tried to connect to Karina to tell her that I heard Entriia scream in to my mind, her reply made my heart sink ‘perhaps she met her fate..,’ those words filled me with terror that something had happened to her here, because she came to see me.

I looked at Tulianne and we agreed it would be best if we rode behind Iana and Stoen to make sure that if this beast attacked again we were there to help them.

I pulled on my the only light armour I carried with me and had not worn since my days with the Scarlet Crusade; I slipped on the tabard of The Order and mounted Valhalla as we rode at speed in to the forests of Teldrassil.

We were on the rode searching near a small Elven town of Dolanaar when the news was announced through my resonating Guild Stone ‘Entriia Darkstorm is dead…’ my soul and heart broke as the words resonated in my mind. I knew then that it was her anguish and pain I felt, her suffering as she was stolen from me; her life taken.

I looked at my guild Stone contemplating throwing it away as the voices seemed to mock my love and her death; their words felt like daggers being thrust in to me as a feelings of betrayal having been lied to by those I trusted.

Karina’s voice entered my mind explaining to me that she was the one who had done the deed, the one who stole Entriia away from me, asking for my forgiveness. I paused momentarily my spirit rose inside and replied before I could think of what to say ‘There is no need for forgiveness my love, you did what you thought was right for the good of the guild…’ the words filled my mind and went forth to her as secretly my soul continued to break in to pieces; my spirit trying to guard me from revealing my feelings.

‘Honoria? Honoria where are you?’ Iana’s questioning voice entering my mind as my spirit again withdrew itself. ‘I am on my way back to your home’ I said with little emotion in my mind as I replied.

I rode back to Darnassus as my imagination and anger took over at the feelings of pain and hurt that radiated from my heart.

My imagination filled with pictures of me arriving back at Iana’s and dismounting as I slipped my plated glove on approaching her gently wrapping my a hand against her throat thrusting my hidden blade into her so she can feel the pain that I did, feel the hurt and pain she caused me by not telling me what had really happened.

I shook my head trying to purge my mind of murderous thoughts and the imaginations it was creating.

I dismounted and approached the room where Iana and Stoen stood, Karina was noticeably absent as my mind tried to drift back to the thoughts I shook away.

I questioned Iana as to why the deception as did Tulianne, her explanation shifted the responsibility away from the deception of her and Stoen, who apologised with lifeless words; laying the blame at my love Karina.

‘She wanted to keep it secret…’ is all my ears heard as my anger and hurt began to rise again as I muttered words to them about leaving and not staying there any further.

Stoen looked down at his feet as I left both muttering words about keeping safe which fell like stones against me.

As I rode towards the portal out of the city Iana’s voice entered my mind questioning if I was ok, ‘I can see how trusted and valued I am Iana’ I replied coldly trying not to reveal any emotion to her ‘I value and trust you Honoria’ was the reply to my cold words.

Iana’s words felt lifeless in my mind as I returned to the city using my stone.

I walked from the Inn to the Gryphons nest making my way back to the Loch, my mind was pricking me with Iana’s words blaming Karina for not wanting to tell me what had happened.

‘You love me?’ I questioned Karina in my mind she replied to me saying she did; ‘Then why weren’t you going to tell me, Iana told me you wanted to keep it from me that Entriia was killed’ I felt a short pause when she replied telling me that Entriia did not suffer. ‘No she didn’t suffer, but I do with the memories of her scream in my mind…’ my anger turned to fury as I spoke those words; they were only matched by the feelings of sorrow I felt having lost my other love. ‘I’m sorry…’ is all I heard in my mind as a reply if she said anything else it was lost with my mix of emotions.

I landed back at the Loch and tended to my repairs, speaking with Elizabetha as I was blinded by my emotions.

Amy arrived back ill and weak as Elizabetha and I exchanged words; I tended to Amy as everything that evening began to fade in to a blur. Amy rested quietly as I bid Elizabetha to stay with her and I left again to return to the Teldrassil.


 * This is an IC look in to the Mind of Honoria, none of this however is public knowledge to be used in any IC situation as Honoria would not share these things publically.