Kelaani's Colourful Cookout

It sad day for Kelaani gal. She met da nice troll mon and went to catch da fishies in da waters of da fatty orcs city. She bullied da Spirits, she pleaded wid dem, danced and cajoled dem, shakin' dem hips to no avail but dey only let her catch a few little ones. "Dey just be da starter" she thought. Sena the rogue threw some red coloured candles in da water and had dem go Kaboom but still not enough fishies.

Den she saw da gnomie he be small but fatty, but he looked tasty, she poked him a few times and had Sena the rogue make da fire. Dat gnomie had powerful voodoo tho! He hexed a few times and made it so de poor trolls couldn't catch even da little fishies, he tried ta bribe Kelaani wid a chicken but Kelaani gal noones fool she knew dat he be mojo mad ifs he gots da chickies. He den showed da froggy, Kelaani licked da froggy and it be tasty for da stew, den da gnomie vanished and came behind Kelaani gal so Kelaani knew dat he definately be hexing and he wasn't for da pot either.

She thought da Spirits be testing her so she waved farewell to da gnomie and grinning at her friend Sena she said "mebe we get some elfies for da pot instead of da stunted humie. " Heading into da main street dey came across a person sitting on da path. He smelled a little funky but dey thought mebe it be his flavouring. They waved dere hands before his face and poked him a few times, trying to see if it be humie or elfie. Whatever it was he was too boney and Sena remarked "If he was a fruit hed be a rotten." Dey den came across a troll, they thought to ask if he be Darkspear and if not well dat be da fates given by da spirits, but he was a sneaky troll and vanished before dere eyes. Da silly troll mon Sena looked under a rock but only found a snake which he kept for a pet.

Getting discouraged de pair walked into da centre of da fatty orcs city. In da centre of de town dey saw a little elfy girl dey sized her up and thought she must be a bit dim she didn't flinch or move when dey prodded her, she was too skinny tho and dey figured her for da runt of da litter and decided to let her go til she fattened up a bit.

Then the pair came across another fem elfy and Kelaani and Sena thought "Aye we get a couple of dese and dats a bit more meat into da pot." They eyed up a fem orcy guard but thought she looked too gristly. So den dey see a male elfy, at least they thought it was, it wasn't much bigger dan da scrawny femmy elfies. Da fem elfy musta gots wind of what was afoot as she began to run away. But de male elfy had a horsie wid him which de two trolls thought very considerate. Kelaani gal coaxed him over wid her hipshaking to appease da Spirits and Sena licked his lips and made a new fire. Kelaani went to da vault and got a big cooking pot and placed it on da fire with some water and some spices for da stew.

Try as dey might tho, Kelaani and Sena couldn't get de dim elfy to understand it was to get into da pot. De silly elfy even tried to stab Kelaani gal but as said before Kelaani gal noones fool and she just bandaged up da tiny scratch from da elfies sword. He rode off and didn't even leave da poor trolls de horsie.

The pair then saw a Tauren male and grinned knowingly at each other, he looked like prime meat and dey thought the Spirits were finally being generous to the two hungry trolls. Sena rubbed his tusks knowingly but when they went to bag him he was just another illusion dat vanished before dere eyes. Kelaani gal began to blame Sena and his felweed for da hallucinations, especially after he swore he saw another tauren on a giant white chickie. Dey put dere fishing rods back on so dey could catch some elfys for da stew and again da Spirits had abandoned dem.

Dey tried to ask for elfys to come and join dem on the trade channel and thought they had hit pay dirt when dey saw an elfy arrive on a mammoth, but da elfy just smiled benignly and buffed da pair with increased stats dat only made dem hungrier. Another elfy was standing cooking by a bonfire, dey thought "Theres an elfy been raised right, he be flavouring hisself" but dey couldn't coax him further onto da fire.

Exhausted and worn out da pair gave up and decided to part dere ways and head to bed, planning to meet the following day to catch up and bag deselves some elf for a pie instead, but den dey thought why we be selfish we live off fishies and fruit from da jungles tomorrow and den on Saturday we gets all da Trolls together and we have a cookout of our fave foods from around Azeroth and we drink some jungle juices, we flavour wid our Trollish herbies and we invite da Elfies to become pulp-dinn-main cour-guests of honour, and of course da steaks, da bone stock and da gristleys welcome also.