Fedez

Orphaned on Kezan, Fedez Phissions learnt everything the hard way, specifically how to do everything the easy way, quickly learning that efficiency and pre-planning made everything so much easier and profitable.

Name/Title

The Honourable Mr.Dr.Pf. Fedez Phissions his Holiness.

Physical Traits

Fedez is a working Goblin in the broadest sense of the term. Always looking as if he forgot to shave this morning and only just finished work. He tries to do as little work as possible, giving him a slightly scrawny appearance though he does appear to be very healthy.

Always trying to look his best is smart work clothes. He has prematurly thinning hair and overcompensates for this by growing his hair very long, he wears his hair in a neat ponytail which gives you a perfectly valid reason to mock him...it makes him look like a girl...seriously.

He also has an atribute almost unheard of in Goblins; he puts time and effort thought into ensuring his plans go correctly.

Personality.

Fedez Phissions is self involved, greedy and lazy, all excellent characteristics.

He feels the need to accomplish as much as he can in his life with the least effort possible. His obsessive calculating of work to payoff ratio has made him a master of all things math-y. He cares about work mostly, one who knew him well would know that he doesn't really care about the profit either, it's just that he needs to do the best he possibly can at whatever he's doing.

His obsessive nature can make him hard to get along with, but once he's done your taxes for you, you'll want him as a friend for life.

Guild

Founder and Beurocrat of Puncture Science and Profit Co.

Occupation

Fedez is constantly holding down multiple part-time jobs, rarely having a moment where he isn't performing 3 of his jobs. But his main occupations in which he excels are accounting, beurocaracy and alchemy, specifically fuel development. He also tinkers in his spare time, so he doesn't tinker much.

Background

After being orphaned on Kezan, Fedez lived the first 9 years of his life in the orphanage, in this time the orphanages profits septupled. Fedez quickly learnt the value of long term investment, and bought shares in the orphanage whenever he could afford to, at the age of 9 he aquired 51% of the orphanage and overthrew it, he fired his Matron, Anita Wishwell, and has never seen her since. Upon retrospect he wishes he hadn't betrayed the person who had been like a mother to him, but live and learn.

Shortly afterwards he realised that he couldn't do anything more with the orphanage, and repurposed it as a hotel, keeping 89% of the shares but giving ownership rights to his 10 year old girlfriend. And so started his long line of aggressive part time job taking and investment.

At the age of 15 he became an accountant for all of the buisnesses he co-owned (all 23 of them), on average quadrupling the profit margins. He continued like this until he was 28, when Mount Kajaro exploded.

He lost all of his money quickly, having it all within the local bank which he was unable to access. After writing off his losses, he constructed a small raft with a nuclear powered onboard motor to escape with. He arrived at Azshara a week after the rest of the Goblins, and after a day of therapy he got back to work rebuilding his accounting empire.

Jobs (past and present)

• Hotel manager
• Gas station manager
• Newspaper delivery boy
• Pizza delivery boy.
• Truck delivery boy.
• Deck swabber
• Trade ship organiser
• Cartographer
• Accountant
• Fuel research and development
• Test subject
• Invention perfectionist
• Factory foreman
• Investment oppurtunity advisor.
• Miner
• (This goes on for a while)

Criminal Record

Syphoning oil and Tax evasion.

Personal Notes

• Wore diapers until he was 9
• Enjoys casual flirting
• Always carries around his homemade calculator and an abacuss for some reason.
• Has a writing speed of 200 words per minute.
• Reads at a 79th grade level.
• Terribly, terribly lonely.

Quotes

"You have 7 seconds to interest me, including the time taken for me to speak this sentence, I'm so sorry you're out of time...now."

"So...come here often?"

"Is the square root of Pi approximately 1.774539?"

"It's efficient"

"Ok, who forgot to carry the two!?"

"Dilute ethanol on sub-zero dihydrogenated oxygen"

Current Status

87.653% chance of being past the threshold into tolerable standing.