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Red Riding Hood - by Stoen

Final Script - No further amendments to be made.

Important Note!!

/me works the same way as /em - ie it will take your name and create the emote that follows it. This means that you can cut and paste the /me emotes in exactly the same way as you cut and paste the dialogue.


Scene 1:

Mother: /me wrings her hands, pacing and looking genuinely worried at little Red Riding Hood.

Mother: Daughter, dear, I had a dream! Not of slaughter, fear or scream, but rather a big black void.

Mother: /me spreads her arms.

Mother: And upon it as I peered, purple words appeared, spelling a whisper from none other than my very own Father.

Red Riding: You mean my Grandpa?

Mother: /me steps out of her role and lifts an admonishing finger.

Mother: Rhymes, dear.

Red: /me rolls her eyes in exasperation.

Red Riding: Grandpa.. Pand..pa?

Mother: /me steps back into character and nods vehemently with big eyes.

Mother: Yes, my dear, so we must adhere to the words that appear.

Red Riding: But what did he say, mother..ray.. pay.. smay?

Mother: /me intones the words, repeating the dream.

Mother: Giv teh foodz plx,' said the words.

Mother: /me nods sagely.

Mother: He must be starving by the lake or at least craving a cake.

Mother: /me lifts her finger again.

Mother: So you must journey through the woods with teh foodz for her sake.

Red: /shiver

Red Riding: But the forest is scary, even on the trail. Can't we just send it in the mail?

Mother: /me puts her hands on her hips, looking aghast.

Mother: And buy one of the stamps that the postman sold? Do I look like I'm made of gold?

Red: /me stares at her mother.

Red Riding: It was thirty copper!

Mother: /me mutters.

Mother: I know, what a robber.

Mother: /me lifts her voice again.

Mother: So venture out and venture proud, you scrumptious lump of meat that no wolf would eat.

Red Riding: But this quest isn't l33t!

Mother: /me purses her lips and hisses:

Mother: Do it or live on the street.

Red Riding: Okay, I'll do it -this- time.

Mother: /me reverts back to a big, motherly smile.

Mother: And don't forget to rhyme!

Mother: /me pats Red Riding Hood on the back.

Red: /me throws her hands in the air.

Red Riding: Fine! This is lame. But all the same, I'll play your game.

/me nods and smiles, waving at Red Riding Hood as she leaves.


Scene 2:

Narrator: And so the young girl ventured out through the forest. Happily she walked unaware that she was stalked.

Until she stopped as she heard a sound, shivering as she turned around. There stood a wolf, high with might, towering above her, an eye on her fright.

Wolf: /roar

B. B. Wolf: ROARRRRRRRRRR!

Red: /me jumps.

Red Riding: You are here to eat me, beast? If so, you could have brushed, at least.

Wolf: /me looks offended, but quickly finds her composure.

B. B. Wolf: I'm sorry, let me speak common: Where are you going with that luncheon?

Red Riding: I'm going to my grandfather's hut to bring him food and whatnot.

Now I'm sure you don't mean to intrude, and I certainly don't wish to be rude, but I'm really not in the mood.

So if you don't wish to kill me, dill me or grill me, could I please leave with the food?

Red: /me raises an eyebrow.

Wolf: /me looks as nice and harmless as she can.

B. B. Wolf: A question with no real motive, where does this old woman live?

Red: /point NO TARGET

Red Riding: Just north of here, if you go forth to there.

Red: /me follows Red Riding Hood's finger with his eyes and looks very confused.

B. B. Wolf: You're pointing south.

Red Riding: Oh, shut your mouth.

Red: /me glowers at the wolf.

Narrator: The wolf kept his cool despite his drool, and looked at the Red Riding Hood.

He wouldn't find it cruel to eat a girl still in school, but wasn't sure if he could. For he wanted to eat the grandmother too, but would that be possible to do?

So he devised a plan before he ran to cause the girl delay while he got the old prey.

Wolf: /me thinks really hard and brightens when she has figured out a brilliant plan.

Wolf: /me points at Red Riding Hood.

B. B. Wolf: You! Delay!

Red: /shrug

Red Riding: Meh. Okay.

Red: /me sits down and begins to peek into the basket to see what is in it...

Narrator: The wolf laughed to himself as he walked away, knowing that he would eat plenty today.

Wolf: /laugh


Scene 3:

(GRANPA HAS OUT A SMALL CAT PET.)

Granpa: Someone knocked on the door it would seem, just as I ordered my girl in her dream.

But before I undo this lock, may I ask for the source of the knock?

Wolf: Er...ehm...

Wolf: /me hesitates.

B. B. Wolf: It's that little girl whose name I didn't get. The small one wearing only red.

Granpa: Oh, finally! You came to me! So come on in and let's have fun, I trust you brought my luncheon?

Granpa: /me has a large smile on his lips as he reaches for the door latch.

Narrator: But as he opened the door, he could only abhore.

And without a fight but a bite and a roar, he was swallowed whole. Or so I'm told.

Granpa: /cower

Wolf: /me attacks and swallows Grandpa!

Wolf: /burp



Scene 4:

Red Riding: Grandfather, dear, I'm finally here. I'm late with the food so I hope you aren't angry. But no matter your mood, I'm sure you are hungry.

Red: /me starts unpacking the goodies busily, flapping the napkin and trying to hide the crumbs that suggest someone has been snacking.

B. B. Wolf: That I am, my little madam.

Wolf: /me picks meat from her teeth. OR /me picks her teeth.

Red Riding: So I hope you don't mind if I am so inclined to stay here a while?

Red: /me eyes the remaining cake greedily.

B. B. Wolf: I would allow it with a smile.

Wolf: /me smiles hungrily!

Red Riding: /me looks up suddenly and scowls suspiciously at her grandfather.

Red Riding: That's not your usual style. Last we met you tried to beat me to death. You screamed I was late and for making you wait, I would meet my fate.


Wolf: /me puts on her best innocent smile.

B. B. Wolf: Maybe I'm nicer now?

Red riding: /me looks the ‘grandfather’ over.

Red Riding: I don't see how. And last I recall you didn't have paws. You had hands and..Wait, are those claws?

B. B. Wolf: Er...

Wolf: /me retracts her claws.

Red Riding: Now why this suspicious pause?

B. B. Wolf: Oh, no, it had no cause. Don't be so bitter, I got the paws to hug you better.

Wolf: /me opens her arms in an embrace!

Red Riding: /me takes a step back.

Red Riding: Is that your defence? It makes no sense! And what about the hair?

Wolf: /me looks utterly confused.

B. B. Wolf: It was always there!

Red Riding: /me looks at the cake again.

Red Riding: Oh, right, I forgot.

...what of the teeth you got? There suddenly seems to be a lot.

Wolf: /me takes a step towards Red Riding Hood...

B. B. Wolf: I use them to chew, that's what I do. And do you know the menu?

Red: /me takes another step back.

Red Riding: Stew? Fondue? Or.. Or tofu?

Wolf: /me steps even closer.

B. B. Wolf: No, dear, I mean YOU.

Red: /me stamps her foot.

Red Riding: So you admit? Dammit. You piece of…

Wolf: /me leaps on Red Riding Hood and eats her in mid-sentence.

Narrator: And without too much ado, the wolf ate her too. It then laid down on the bed and soon it slept.

In its stomach the girl and her grandfather wept as they tried to accept this strange concept of being kept in the belly.


Scene 5

Narrator: But while the wolf snored, a nearby hunter was bored. So he turned on track beast and suddenly saw that just to the east a wolf laid low. He walked towards it, but…

(THE HUNTER USES A SCROLL)

Bear: /me sniffs the grass.

Hunter: /point

Hunter: That's just a small hut.

Narrator: So he walked to the window and peered inside where he saw the wolf bloated and wide.

Bear: /me looks at the hut.

B. B. Wolf: /me snores and rubs her belly. Yum yum!

Bear: /me shakes his head and returns to eating the grass.

Hunter: That is odd, I do not recall that in such a hut lived this hairball. Could it have eaten the old lady?

I suppose it could be, but can I still set her free?

(GRANPA & RED VANISH & /SIT BY THE CORPSE)

Narrator: Hoping the wolf wasn't a shaman, into the hut went the huntsman. From his belt he took a knife and quietly knelt to take its life.

Hunter: /kneel

B. B. Wolf: Ouch! Aw!

Narrator: He slit the throat without a sound, cut open the belly and there he found:

(GRANPA AND RED APPEAR, GRANPA WITH A GREEN OOZE PET)

Granny: About time. Eew, what's all this slime?

Hunter /blink

Hunter /confused

Red: /me smiles up at the hunter through the stomach goop…

Red Riding: Oh, thank you sir for saving me. For cutting its fur and setting me free.

Now we might as well think ahead, at what time do you think we should wed?

Hunter: /gasp

Bear: /me slaps his forehead with his paw.

Hunter: You want us to marry? That sounds a bit scary. I don't even know you, much less betroth you!

Red: /me smiles fetchingly at the hunter, batting her eyelashes.

Red Riding: Don't pout, you know what this is about: It's the end of the tale and you saved a maid. So we do have to marry, I'm afraid.

(RED STANDS UP AND MOVE VERY CLOSE, LOCKING EYES WITH THE HUNTER)

Red: /me gives the Hunter The Look!

Hunter: /me slowly backs away from Red Riding Hood...

Red Riding Hood: So buy me a house, or get one leased, then I will hurry as a spouse and find a priest.

Hunter: /me mutters something under his breath.

(DARLAHNA GHOST WOLFS OFF)


Scene 6:

(ON THE STAIRS) ((For the Twilight Grove, I suggest we stand on the side away from the actors, we have to be very close to the bottom to have our emotes heard))

Red: (TARGET IBELIN) /poke

Hunter: /No

Red: /me gives him a hefty shove!

Hunter: /me stumbles onto the stage.

The Prient: /tap

Bear: /me drools.

The Priest: And so I ask you, Riding Hood, if being a wife is something you would?

Red: /me looks at Ibelin critically.

Red Riding: Will you change the way you dress? And clean up every mess?


Hunter: I.. I guess.

Hunter: /me sounds nervous.


Red Riding: And make me feel like a princess and never any less?

Red Riding: /me raises an eyebrow.

Hunter /me clears his throat.

Hunter: Yes.

Red Riding: And let my surname stay the same, even as your dame?

Red Riding: /me smiles winningly up at her fiancé.

Hunter: I don't even know your first name!

Hunter: /me sounds annoyed.

Red Riding: /gasp (TARGET IBELIN)

(ARYLON DOES HOLY NOVA)

The Priest: I'm bored, and I think this area belongs to the Horde, so would you mind giving me a reply before we all die?

Red Riding: I do.

The Priest: And the man too?

Red Riding: /poke (TARGET IBELIN)

Hunter: It's a bit out of the blue…

Red Riding: But yes he does.

Red Riding: /me nods vigorously.

Hunter: Why?


Red Riding: /me scowls at her husband-to-be.

Red Riding: Because!

Hunter: /beg


Narrator: And the two got married and lived a happy life. As husband and wife, they never had a strife.

Bear: /dance

Red: /no

Bear: /me sulks in a corner.

Hunter: /cry

Red: /flex

Priest: /facepalm

Narrator: As we end the tale, the moral is clear: If you get eaten, do not fear as long as a friendly hunter is near.

(RED RIDING AND EILEENA DANCE WITH EACH OTHER)

Red &Mother: /dance (NO TARGET)

Red: /flex

Narrator: We hope you enjoyed our Winter Veil show, if so applaud as we take our bow. Goodnight everybody!

ALL: /bow (NO TARGET)

))

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